i don’t know how old he was

but my son, when he was little, was going on and on about a book he was reading. I asked him how he came to read that book, presumed he got it from the school library, or when we went to the library — we used to go to the library about every two weeks (I took out more books than I could read, but that was in case I did read a lot, or in case some book or other would not suit me. Mind you, I rarely not finish a book, no matter how bad it is, hoping that somewhere in it is a pearl … unless I come across a no-no). I digressed.

When he told me it was class reading, I was shocked. He was talking about stags and witches and dark things. Ok, it’s time to be a Mom and read the book; it’s the only way. I have done this with many other books, games, even music. Some of my favorite music comes from him lending me a CD (dating myself=) that sounded different or dark (that word keeps popping up). Anyway, I had never heard of CS Lewis — just because I read a lot doesn’t mean I read everything. And I did not grow up in this country, so common stories in English were foreign to me.

i read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, and got hooked and read all of the Chronicles books in a jiffy

Then I realized that Lewis didn’t just write children’s books (that seems so comical now). Eventually, like, years later, I bought A Year with C.S. Lewis — Daily Readings from His Classic Works, a little treasure of a book with a daily snippet from his different books. I have been reading it continuously for over thirteen years and have read most of his other works. For my birthday one year, I wanted CS Lewis anything as I had nothing but that little book … and The Kama Sutra. I did, really, and got them. I had read some of the Sutra years earlier, a book borrowed from the library, and was curious to read it again. Sometimes I am not sure if I remember things well. I had been unable to a) find it in any library, b) find it in any shop, c) not even in India. But I got it. Have read a lot more of CS Lewis — for what it’s worth. I think I wanted the Sutra because I couldn’t get it and because it reminded me of my trip to India (years and years ago). I tried to buy it there, but the man in the one bookshop I visited kept ignoring my request or playing deaf, just not dealing with me. I digressed again. Sorry.

what moved me this morning

to write about CS Lewis is the affinity I have for his writing and thinking, which sometimes makes me cry. I get him. Wish we could talk. After a sentence or paragraph that tugs at my insides, I stop and put the book over my eyes, repeat the words in my mind, and sort of breathe them in. I have scribbled him all over creation =). Some of his words, at times, have healed me. He is (was, but is to me) an amazing man.