just ask
 
my grandmother, my Mom’s mother

called my father James. His name was not James. Now, his last name, Santiago, is James in English. I learned this much later in life. When I was young, I was always curious but never asked. Even as a little girl, I  wondered why she called my father by a different name. My parents divorced before I was old enough to remember them together.

‘how’s james?’

She would ask this in Spanish, of course. ¿Cómo está James? I can still hear the voice and see her. Always with a smile, she asked.

so i asked my mother why

when I asked about the wedding photograph. I presumed the answer would be: Mami knew his last name, Santiago, is James in English, and liked to call him that.

but, oh no …

That is not the answer I got. “She called him James,” she said, “because we only knew him as James. He introduced himself to me as James, and so I introduced him to my family as James. I never, even after I found out his real name, called him anything else.” Whaaaat?

amazed at still being (pleasantly) surprised

which is just lovely

and leads back to the title

JUST ASK

If I get a photograph of my grandmother Sofia, I will update

There is only one of her in my mind
january 07, 2024
Spoke to my Mom yesterday for almost 2 hours. In one of the conversations, she re-enacted a heated discussion between her and her mother (mami Fia to me) when I was a little child, and what came out for my father’s name was James. If I had not asked the question 4 years ago, I would have been confused. Even more mind-blowing, to boot, was the zinger of the issue. 🤯
she could so write a book!