blank slate
although i say i go with the flow, i like structure. that i am unstructured is a different matter, i’m talking of what i like. want. need.
i have thought that needs are
hard and consequential, and easy to see. But this morning, I realized that my met expectations are what bring me to bliss + peace. Continuous. Regardless of anyone. And although I know that how we speak, think, and do reflects back on me, I don’t always refrain from the negative.
so, i don’t have to do anything
but refrain from (that pesky apple). It is not difficult to refrain; it just seems counter. But counter to what? If all of me is reflected back to me … I should be precious, tender, patient. Regardless. Continually. It is what I want for myself, so I must want it for others.
i wrote a few years ago
that I can go without anything with the best of them, and I can. Because it’s a challenge? Most likely. So, here I go again, although I’ve gone and gone before and ended up back in the same place — not because I can’t or shouldn’t, but because I don’t. I’ve said it before, and I will continue to say it:
some days it is oh so very clear
Should paint and frame that. 🎨 HA! Painting is one of the things actions I want to start doing. It’s on my calendar. I’m readying the space, dusting off canvases, acrylics, oils, and brushes, most of which I’ve never used. Already thinking of what else to buy for creating but pushing that away.
1) i don’t know what i need
(if anything) 2) Who says I will actually paint? (That’s the spirit! 🙄) Anywho, the point of this post is that I do prefer to start with a marked starting line no matter what I say. Accept it. It is what it is. And it’s good.
penned 07.31.2023
random but poignant:
Recently read that an author, early in her career, had to condense an article for it to go to print, and what the process and outcome were. Now, when I write, sometimes even when I speak, I pare down a bit. A bit. Sometimes, I said. And it’s nice.
to boot: i’m going minimalistic
Have so wanted to forever. Dumping all the extras from my “studio” into the “sewing room” — because I don’t sew as much as I’d like to. 🫤 I mean, if I pare down words, why not pare down everything? Did it in the garden: removed what’s not growing well (a lot!) and made room for future seeds.
