i found them!

The voice memos I thought were lost are in the stinking cloud.

The older ones do not have a number or the date, only the length of the recording, so I can marry the time with the ones on the cell phone, which do have the date.

i am as detailed as much as i am disorganized

still picking them at random

I’m wondering how I can stop being so undisciplined about so many things, but particularly about not being able to do things in the morning that I have to do, like: be on time for work. I will do everything else but that. I even do yoga in the morning. Besides doing yoga, I could do who knows what else that shouldn’t be done in the morning.

In the evenings, I have trouble doing anything, anything at all, and I give myself the excuse that I’d rather do it in the morning. And it just dawned on me that that’s a temptation. I am letting myself get away with a little desire, thinking you know, just wait, a little enticement. It is a temptation, just like any other type. I’m tempted to not do something, to give something up, to think that I cannot help myself. That’s the real temptation: “helplessness.”

And I am not helpless, I can do as I wish, I can do as I want, but I believe that I cannot SO I DON’T. I have given up other temptations to the point that they don’t exist in my life, or my being, in my desires, in my mind, anywhere, anywhere in me. They’re gone. This is going to be gone too.

January 22, 2013 1:37

I am much better, not thoroughly so, although I climbed that horse again recently, and I am making headway. =)