in 1999, I had the idea of an end-of-year party, but that’s as far as it got. Well, no, that’s not true. I created an invitation and a list of friends, but as I called around, I realized not many would venture out before ’00 — probably with the Y2K fear. Whatever. The memory of not many will attend revolves in my mind. Part of the invitation said:

I have never understood the need to celebrate the end of three hundred and sixty-five days, three hundred and sixty-six every four years, when all the Egyptians wanted to do was keep track of the Earth’s orbit around the sun. What’s so special about that? But the end of this century will be a postmark for the future, just like the last one was for us.

There are fallacies in that statement, but it is what I wrote. The card was hand-made, with sketches and verses of a poem written, in what I call curlicues, on the inside jacket.

⏺ ⏺ ⏺
Providence’s main post office was open until midnight and had a window where one could hand envelopes to a person. So I drove there to mail myself a postcard with a poem I wrote (if that’s what it is) on the thirty-first at 11:30 pm so it would be postmarked just before midnight 1999. When I received it, it had no postmark AT ALL. =( It has been in all the offices where I’ve worked. It is on my current home office desk.

Now, over twenty years later, I’m on that horse again because I hear many people say they can’t wait for 2020 to be over. Good grief =) I wish this didn’t get to me. I usually let it go, but it’s just so constant. A YEAR DOESN’T DO ANYTHING. It’s nothing more than how we measure time. The watch on my wrist does not affect my life whatsoever except to show me whether I am late or not,

that sort of thing

In my humble opinion, it is not sad to think thus but EMPOWERING. A new year doesn’t bring change. Hope and change are born and rise from inside each of us. At any time. Hope for something better begins when the whisper first flows. I live with hope all the time. Yet hope morphs into reality when I do whatever it takes to bring it to fruition.

I have been a very conditional person: do that after this, when this happens, the other will come, etc. I have been shying away from that because I realized that conditions are obstacles we place, even in relationships. Tit-for-tat doesn’t always work.

a tug-of-war ends when one person drops the rope

Back to the end-of-year thing. Some years I have been into New Year’s parties; others not. Depends on the circumstances or the weather. It is a night to be with friends — have not been with family at New Year’s for years, maybe even decades! I can dress up and be glittery any day of the year. Thank you very much.

On another note, this thought has been on my mind for weeks, if not months:

Hedonism may be the word of the day|month | year sometime soon =)

the pursuit of pleasure; sensual self-indulgence

If you think we pursue pleasure now, just wait and see. Pleasure is anything that makes us happy, be it talking with kids on a swing set, traveling, discovering new people, or having ice cream on a bench; sensual is of the senses. Is it up to a month or hours on the clock to help us get there?

tell me