it brings peace. period.

Exactly two weeks ago I posted last — not written, as I have written + scribbled many posts since, though I haven’t posted or even tried to post any of them. So I avoided the blog, “not knowing” how to get back on the horse. Did a lot of chores and unnecessary things this morning to stay away from my desk.

As I sat down to post I felt lost

Cannot think of another word, even said it out loud. To no one. I am so lost! Lost. Sin rumbo ni sentido (without direction or sense — a line in Like A Blue Thread). How could that even be possible? I write, talk, read about paths constantly. Believe in paths. Know them. Yet avoid them. I picked up a book on my desk that I didn’t put on the “READ” bookshelf after I finished it.

It’s been decorating my workspace

The book, titled FERVENT, was written by Priscilla Shirer. I opened it to the first sticky, almost clear baby blue. The subject: fear. I’ve wanted to write about fear for years … and here it is right in front of me. Still at a loss, and lost, I told myself, out loud again, that the one thing I can do is write. Read a few pages, and then words stopped me in my tracks

fear will keep you from obtaining … your destiny

p 111

propelling me to slide the keyboard over and begin to write. So here I am. I went back to the beginning of the chapter because I recalled that all chapters start with the same five words:

If I were your enemy, I’d magnify your fears, making them appear insurmountable, intimidating you with enough worries until avoiding them becomes your driving motivation. I would use anxiety to cripple you, to paralyze you, leaving you indecisive, clinging to safety and sameness, always on the defensive because of what might happen.

mighty strong words

I have read many of her books, and although they made a difference when I read them, reality never set in. Until now. Some I’ve read numerous times, but I will read them again. One after the other. All of them. Starting today.

there is something tangible & grand within reach