It isn’t just a motto. It is one of the simplest and most necessary habits we should learn. And teach.

about everything —

this coming from someone who flies by the seat of her pants. There is a lot for which we can and cannot prepare for in life, in relationships, in many aspects, really. But that is not what this is about. It’s about the likely, yet “unexpected” in life: loss of work, home, loss of a parent, spouse, of self. Dare not write child.

what we could prepare for

is the unexpected (because we avoid it) that will happen. Recently, I have been privy to losses and to the aftermaths, as well as the confusion (although I know that from personal experience) that follows a loss.

age should not matter

when it comes to preparedness. Loss is not an easy subject for most people. It is easier for me because I became a widow at age 43, and being in the vacuum of aloneness and nothingness that follows it is an incredible experience. My father died five years later.

and it was different

I was fortunate that my husband and I lived simply — and my father simpler still. Nevertheless, there was convolution, though not the kind I’ve been privy to lately. Understand what you have and own, where you want it to go (to whom),

how (may be pertinent)
read a super cool book years ago

that dealt with this, amongst other issues: The Almond Picker. Actually, purchased it recently (have not re-read it yet). The Table of Contents alone was amazing! Anyway, there are too many things and too many ways to bequeath (I know it’s the proper word to use but must see the dictionary definition, it’s what I do).

bequeath — be·​queath | bi-ˈkwēth

1: to give or leave by will—used especially of personal property

2: to hand down, transmit

I know of so many people who were unaware of what a loved one had done, was doing, kept. And during the distress of the loss have to deal with things that can’t wait but should. Often, others take advantage of the distressed. Again, I was fortunate, but I have seen it so many times.

it saddens me because

I know the fog after a loss and how easy it is to be lost. If we manage now and PREPARE, the ones left behind will have only the sorrow of losing us, without the additional one of deciphering, sorting, following up … I could go on. Not caring about what happens after one dies means not caring at all about those left behind.


We may actually gain freedom and release from a task that, somewhere in the back of our minds, we know exists.

it is almost like a gift