why do people lie?
 
i profess not to lie

and as far as I know, it is true. I may say something that is not factual because I’m unaware of the facts, but I endeavor to speak about what I know. Otherwise, I say nothing. So I don’t speak up much. My husband would disagree, but talking and speaking are different actions — like watching and looking, hearing and listening, although I could be off on that. I’d rather change the conversation or flat out say it doesn’t matter, or it isn’t something I want to talk about, whatever it takes. Sometimes I walk away.

i’ve been told i am either black or white

without shades of gray. Whether that’s true or not, it doesn’t matter, won’t even delve into what it means. I’ve been told something akin to that by different people. Someone else’s opinion (what travels through a mind) doesn’t (shouldn’t) affect me. If it is often a chore to control my mind or myself, there is definitely no way and, more importantly, no need to try to control another’s mind or self. Think that what goes through your mind goes through most everyone else’s. What bundles of energy are continually firing when we could live at rest and in peace! Over-thinking, fretting, hoping, planning, imagining, reasoning — these are the ones I have struggled with, but which are falling away, like scales, leaves, petals of a delicate flower. Replaced by soft skin, new foliage, hardy roots … I pray.

back to lies

Some lies we (must include me) tell ourselves, and we believe and live by them. These are far worse for, maybe, if people stop living and believing lies, they may not lie to others.


lie | ˈlī
an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker or writer to be untrue with intent to deceive
 

Searched for different definitions because I was surprised to find out that a lie has the intent to deceive. It didn’t make sense until I ran out of dictionaries. Yes, when you tell yourself a lie, you are deceiving yourself, not just fending off or avoiding or covering something or someone. It is deceit. Which brings me back to the original + final thought:

be true to yourself, and there’ll be little choice but to be true to others

written on 4 sides of a napkin, dated 09.02.2020